A New Name

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  1. Glen
    Jan 15 - 10:39 pm

    Best
    Post
    Ever

  2. […] They act as a sick note for life. […]

  3. M
    Jan 16 - 9:56 am

    Oh so true. And how I hate that it is! I too am fickle, contrary and sinful, but thankful for transforming grace.

  4. Emma
    Jan 16 - 4:08 pm

    Thanks Glen!

  5. Emma
    Jan 16 - 4:08 pm

    Hi M

    Great to hear from you and to be reminded it’s not just me

  6. Heather
    Jan 17 - 5:49 am

    I can definitely relate to the conflict of interests.

    There really is a sort of perverse sense of comfort in trying to hold onto what is destroying me. And I think you’ve described well what the tends to keep people in that place.

    Being drawn toward something as unfamiliar as a genuinely loving, soul-piercing relationship can be really, really uncomfortable in comparison to the miserable state of being to which one has become accustomed.

  7. Emma
    Jan 17 - 6:36 pm

    Hi Heather

    Yes – like you say it’s perverse that we pick the things that make us miserable and destroy us over those things that are unfamiliar and uncomfortable. So much for safety!

  8. […] This is not a problem restricted to women – but it also seems to me that women have a particular leaning to find identity or meaning in usefulness or busyness.  Women are  twice as likely to get depressed as men, whilst in the UK, one in nine women seek help for a mixture of anxiety and depression.  And when the busyness gets too much, any number of maladies present themselves as ways to get off this self-made hamster wheel.  (I discuss this more in  ”A sicknote from life.”) […]

  9. Debs
    Mar 10 - 8:57 pm

    Yes, so true!
    Professionals are recognising this too: when I had CFS/ME one of the things I was encouraged to do was write a list of the advantages of being ill – sounded bizarre at first but quickly opened up a huge can of worms that needed tackling…

  10. Emma
    Mar 11 - 8:07 pm

    Hi Debs

    That’s v.interesting – they get you to do the same thing when you’re being treated for an eating disorder. Did you find it a helpful exercise? I could see that the drawbacks outweighed the benefits by some way, but making the list only really helped when I was on the path to recovery. Perhaps that’s because your brain changes with weight loss so you can’t really reason – although it happens with depression too.

  11. […] Addictions can be “sick notes from life.” Allowing the person to face consequences can be vital in helping them to break out of […]

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