So you’ve had one of those catsickonthekitchenfloor/toddler meltdown/bumped into the ex wearing curry-stained trackies/missed deadline/I’m a piece of crap days. You’re trying not to cry. Whatever your fix, what’s going to stop you self-harming and turning to destructive patterns of behaviour?
Number One. A prayer flare. Like literally, ‘help Lord’.
Number Two, A phone call to a friend. Talk about how you’re feeling.
Number Three. A cup of tea. Preferably with sugar.
Number Four: some self-talk. Here’s some starters;
- Am I doing that “compare and despair” thing where I compare myself to Mother Teresa/Cindy Crawford/all the other people in the world who seem to have it together?
- Is there another way of looking at this? Try picking the very opposite approach to the one you’d naturally go for.
- Am I getting things out of proportion?
- Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
- Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
- Am I doing black-and-white thinking? People aren’t perfect. That’s ok.
- What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
- Am I putting pressure on myself and setting up impossible expectations? What would be more realistic?
- Feeling bad doesn’t mean that I’m bad or my life is.
- What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
- What will happen if I respond the way I normally do?
- Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the best action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
- How would someone else see this situation?
- What would Gillian McKeith do? Do the opposite.