Valentine’s Day AND half-term. Too rich for my blood.
I’m not a romantic person. In fact, I’d say I was anti-romance – (gospel excepted – but even that’s hard to take in. All this grace when I just want to earn my stripes).
So, in honour of the slushfest, here are my top ten romantic moments.
1. Chundering (vomiting) on the beach when Glen proposed. (I knew it was coming, so to maintain an element of surprise, he kept foisting different sized ring boxes at me. But the stress, combined with a seafood lunch all took their toll. ‘Give me a second honey, I’ve just thrown up in my mouth’.
2. My first attempted snog. (He asked if we could kiss ‘with tongues’ and I dumped him. GROSS)
3. My first actual snog (in a farmyard). The guy meant well, but losing yourself is hard when a bovine’s watching.
4. My second snog (interrupted by my Dad coming early to pick me up and threatening to kill him. Dad says he was joking, but it wasn’t funny: especially when I was then dumped and labelled Daughter of Psycho).
5. Being taken to a guy’s ‘special thinking place’ when I knew he’d been there with three others in the same week.
6. Double-dating at the cinema where we watched ‘Hunt for Red October’ (interminable submarine drama) and I got chucked out for talking.
7. Painstakingly creating a handmade card with a decorated chocolate heart and watching as the recipient scoffed the choc and chucked the rest in the bin.
8. Slow-dances. All of ’em. Just Painful. Generally because you’re watching your (fit) mate snog the guy who brought you. Three years of stalking, all for nothing.
9. Paris. (on a school trip)
10. Venice. (with my parents).
Ok to giggle? :)