What makes you anxious?
Here’s some of my favourites..
– changes in routine.
– meeting new people. Especially in groups (because they Hunt in Packs)
– LOUD NOISES
– changing rooms.
– running out of stuff AND having too much of it. (Yep. All bases covered)
– birthdays, Christmas, valentine’s… anything with prefix to the word ‘day’. (Though night-time can be worrying too)
– flying. Especially with Easyjet. It’s just a matter of time till the wing falls off or we’re hijacked by snakes.
To be honest, I’ve always had a gift for anxiety. Like a scrappy terrier chewing over a juicy rib.
‘Let the worry bone go?’ I don’t think so.
Why?
When I obsess about things, I feel like they’re under my control. If I put in the worry hours, ‘karma’ will stop them happening.
If I can get through this, I’ll be contented. If I can just pass this exam…then I’ll be at peace. If I can pay off my student loan…if I can get some sleep…if I make it through this week…
Each worry promises to be the last. But before I take a breath, there’s something else. Something really worth losing sleep over.
Who am I without my worries? I’m scared to find out. –
But you know what – I’m scared anyway. Scared and sick of lurching from one anxiety to the next and trying to control the whole world from one baggy little brain.
So what’s the way forward? I have no idea.
Seems to me like all I can do is go back to Jesus and say ‘my head is full. I want to give you this stuff but I don’t know how. Help me – and take from me the things I can’t let go of myself’.
So that’s where I begin. And for the first time in weeks, I start to exhale.
I so feel like this! I often think I will just worry about this one last thing and then when that is sorted it will all be great. Its not though, cos there is always more! And letting go is so so hard and it is such a control thing. And on the odd occasion I am not feeling anxious, that then makes me anxious… because I feel i should be worrying about something .. crazy or what!!!!
Thanks for your honesty, Am not great at writing /expressing my feelings, so is so refreshing to read words that I would like to say/ write. To know I am not the only one!
Great book by the way,
Anna x
It’s hard to say anything. That’s me. The only thing from your list which doesn’t make me worrying is flying. I don’t worry for my safety, I always think if I don’t arrive to my destination I arrive to God’s arms. I am quite ok with this. But there was time when I worried so much on the plane. It is absolutely silly. I worried for my lugagge, that will never arrive, it will be lost. I found more value in my luggage than in myself. Worrying for my financial situation all the time, seeing myself starving, which never happened and I experienced God’s blessings in so many ways. The only time which was harder was in my childhood during communism. But even that time we never starved, my mother only needed to be very creative and prepare meals from almost nothing. Trusting God that He will provide enough for everyday, He will not let me becoming a begger seems extremely difficult. Emma, you made me cry, but more like a relief.
Thanks Anna – I also worry about whether or not I should be worrying..!! What helps though, is that Jesus knows what we’re like. He doesn’t assume that we won’t worry – he knows we will and so he tells us how to deal with it and offers hope and grace.
It is hard Kinga, but it helps to know that others struggle too, so thanks for sharing your experiences. I love how you put this ‘if I don’t arrive at my destination I arrive into God’s arms’. Will try and remember this next time I fly