Yesterday, Glen was preaching. I’d love to say I was fully focused on the sermon and cheering him on. But my brain had hopped out the window and was running for the hills. I had other things on my mind. Important things.
Things that were broken and needed to be fixed.
A sore throat. My website, which had crashed*. A broken picture that needed mended. Cracked eggs that needed to be used up. The leaking fridge. The boiler that blew up.
And anyway, I’d read the passage before. Matthew 6:25-34. The bit where Jesus tells His disciples ‘Not to worry’.
Which is nice.
Except, thinking about it – it’s not.
It’s frustrating and insulting and unrealistic and stupid.
Mainly tho, it’s just impossible.
‘Do not worry.’
Outwardly, I nodded.
Thanks Jesus, I’ll take that on board. Didn’t think of not worrying before, but now I’ll stop.
Inwardly however, I did something completely different.
Cut me open and I’m a rock of panic.Telling me not to worry is like telling me to be purple. Or a marshmallow.
The boiler breaking. The car that just won’t start.The cracked relationship.The boggy brain.The friends in crisis.The overdraft.The EGGSTHEEGGSTHEEGGS
AND NOW I FEEL GUILTY FOR WORRYING TOO.
How is this good news?
Listen to his sermon and find out.
* thanks so much to everyone who gave advice and helped get the site up and running – and apologies if you weren’t able to access it. Hoping to get back to normal very soon.
image source: here
Does that mean I’m not the only one who worries. I’ve been signed off in the past with anxiety, I mean how lame is that…especially when the bible says things like, “cast all your anxieties on him”. Thank you for your bravery of sharing so much of yourself on this blog and showing us, that we’re not the only one who struggles. Doing the bishops certificate in children’s ministry and one bit of work was to make a leaflet to give to children’s workers about the aims, tips and what to do if a child protection issue arises. Emailed it to our kidswork coordinator. Got a email back – immediate thought – she thinks its awful, actual email – can I show it and discuss it with our vicar, with a view to using!!
Worrying generates anxiety, one of the most useful tips that I give to my clients is use problem solving instead. It de-clutters your mind, whereas worrying does the opposite. Prioritize your worries, pick a few and work out what if anything you can do about them. If you can;t do anything about a worry, have the good sense to let it go until you can do something about it.