Not Feeling It

Most of us would rather feel happy than sad. Bad feelings feel – wrong.  Often however, they’re a normal, natural part of life.  They can even be useful. Example: ‘I feel like I’m going to be sick ‘ may lead me to deduce that my prawns are past their sell-by/I’m pregnant/I should get off this yacht/I’m not enjoying the film.

Go Team Feeling.

But before we take up our pompoms, let’s remember that our emotions may also tell us a pack of (horse-free) porkies: ‘I feel like another four mojitos will make me more interesting’.  ‘I feel like my sister will understand if I borrow her car/shoes/boyfriend etc’.

In their place, feelings are fine. But left unchallenged,they try to take over the world – or at least, the portion ruled by your brain.

Imagine. Your imaginary boyfriend has dumped you, the phone is ringing, your pen has leaked, your client is shouting, you’re on a long haul flight to a class reunion and you’ve just discovered that there are snakes on the plane.

Now add to the equation someone who looks just like you, only with a foghorn.  Every time you try to make the situation better, they shout the following:

It’s you against the world

It’s not worth it

You’re  rubbish

You’re a failure at everything you do

You let everyone down

Everyone else is fine

You need to pull yourself together

You are pathetic and weak

Your life is a mess

Your future is bleak

There’s something really wrong with you

You should be a much better person

You can’t go on

Nobody understands

Nothing will ever feel good again

Lots of different lies. But one big un’ that underpins them all:  how you feel is who you are.

It’s not.