Conversational Death

headinsandThe scene: my local pharmacy.

I’m in a queue of five people.

Woman behind counter: ‘Shrev.  Shriv -Shrivens?’  Shakes head in disbelief. ‘Prescription for SHRIVERS’

I sidle towards the counter and apologise for my name.

Woman: ‘Don’t worry, it’s not your fault’.

(Looks through bag)

Woman: ‘Are these for you?’

Me: ‘Yes’.

Woman: ‘What are they for?’

Me: ‘Erm – they help me go to the loo’

Woman: ‘What do you mean?’

Me: ‘You don’t want to know’

Woman: (clearly does want to know but isn’t getting anywhere). ‘So why do you need them?’

Me: ‘My digestive muscles don’t work properly’

Woman: ‘Why’s that?’

Me: (aware of queue who are now transfixed) ‘I had an eating disorder and it erm – affected my bowels’

Woman: ‘A What?’

Me: ‘Eating disorder.  An eating disorder’.

Woman: (puts down pen) ‘Really? An EATING DISORDER?’

Me: ‘Yes.’

Woman: (in stage whisper) ‘NO’

Me: ‘Yes’

Woman: ‘what, like – ‘ (mimes being sick/stomach cramps)

Me: ‘Er.  Yeah, sort of’

Woman: ‘You don’t look like you’ve got an eating disorder’

Me: (brightly) ‘Right. No’.

Woman: ‘I suppose you can’t always tell.’

Me: (sidling towards door) ‘That’s right’

Woman: ‘But at least you can eat whatever you want’.

Me: (heading for oncoming traffic) ‘Yes there’s always that’.


14 thoughts on “Conversational Death

  1. I think you have to pay extra to avoid that sort of thing. Our pharmacist used to shout the name AND the order (“HAEMORRHOID CREAM FOR MR BROWN!!”) and then wonder why no one collected them…

  2. Actually | think it’s retribution. I used to work in a chemist and one of our customers was called Reginald Shufflebottom. Every time I had to read out ‘prescription for shufflebottom’ I lost it.

  3. Next time just think of an answer more shocking than the real one. My friend does this when people ask her why she doesn’t have children – they are usually so horrified and embarrassed by her response (the details of which would make me blush to share!) that they realise what an inappropriate and personal question they asked… ;)

  4. It’s Biblical, would it be so wrong????

    2 Kings 2:23-24
    New International Version (NIV)
    Elisha Is Jeered

    23 From there Elisha went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, some boys came out of the town and jeered at him. “Get out of here, baldy!” they said. “Get out of here, baldy!” 24 He turned around, looked at them and called down a curse on them in the name of the Lord. Then two bears came out of the woods and mauled forty-two of the boys.

    Only joking!!!! Honest. So naughty!

  5. Thats Crazy! It feels quite unprofessional too. erg.

    Everyone gets our name wrong too, they pronounce Caird as “Card”… (easy to do I know) but fun when a salesperson phones and asks for “Mrs Card” I can say.. “Im sorry, no one with that name lives here”…hehe

  6. Absolutely outrageous. I mean, your post made me laugh I must admit, but I can see that any one of those comments could be a major trigger, especially on a vulnerable day.

    I HATE the whole, ‘You don’t look like you have an eating disorder’ type thing. You mean I am fat? Is that what you are saying? Or not realising just how you can feel when yes, you ‘look’ like a healthy young woman, but need to take handfuls of pills every day just to more or less function.

    I hope and pray you can continue to smile when things like this happen!

  7. Erm, why is the woman looking through your prescription bag?! Never mind all her other blunders, surely she shouldn’t be doing that?!

  8. I am outraged by that! My goodness! The woman shoud be taken out and shot at dawn! (Okay… that might be a LITTLE extreme but… ) Really… I mean… I cannot believe the crass stupidity of it!
    It is none of her business and it is HIGHLY unprofessional to be asking clients questions about their medications.
    I know it’s one of those, ‘walk-away-and-think-of-a-million-better-responses’ situations… but I would like it if you’d politely suggested that she tried taking some if she was so interested.

    PS… Mr Shufflebottom..? Oh dear! It would blow my professionalism theory right out of the water! Perhaps Karma does exist after all!!!

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