Man, I Feel Like A Man

stereotypesI’m wary about writing on gender, (she says, doing it anyway). Men and women are different; but from where I’m sitting (the fence),  biblical differences aren’t the same as the cultural ones and it’s easy to get them mixed-up.

Plus, it’s personal. I’m woman who feels like a man, married to a man who feels like a woman (Glen wants me to edit this, but the lady doth protest too much). Evidence:

If we have an argument, Glen wants to hug it out and I want to build a shed. He likes singing and poems and talking about stuff. But wait, he’s a GUY.  So he can’t. That’d be Weird.

Not so for me.

As a woman, I’m actively and publicly encouraged to emote. But I’m Northern Irish, so I don’t believe in emotion.  I believe in hard work and lists and sureneverworryit’llallbefineDON’TGOTHERE.

As a female, it’s also assumed that I love sad/ romantic films with people wearing wigs. These films make me angry.  (I cry, but it’s tears of RAGE folks, not empathy). Also, it’s assumed that I want to gather with large groups of women. Fact: large groups of women make me scared. (I went to a girl’s school and that was plenty. Plus the men always seem to do the good stuff, like drag racing, while we paint egg-cups).

I’m joking. In part.  But gender stereotypes do a lot of damage. Guys for example, are encouraged to believe that suffering in silence is manly. Guys are also three to five times more likely than women to kill themselves.Guys are encouraged to drink to unwind.  And they make up 80% of those who are dependent on alcohol. Guys are encouraged to perform – in the boardroom and in the bedroom.  So they keep quiet about the bullying at work.  And they take their desires to the small screen instead of their partners.

These are big issues. But that doesn’t mean that gender doesn’t matter. After all, I might not be a culturally typical woman; but I’m not a guy either.  Many of the things I think I ought to be aren’t gender specific.  Guys are called to be kind and nurturing as well as strong, right?  (See Jesus for the ultimate example). Women need to be brave and passionate as well as gentle – don’t they? (See the women who followed Jesus, even after the blokes scarpered).

According to the Bible we’re not shaped the same. And this is a good thing that should be celebrated and enjoyed. But sometimes, even in churches, we mix up the biblical stuff with the cultural. When this happens, instead of being liberated by difference, we’re squashed by it instead. And it impacts on us all.

When it comes to gender there are different differences and it’s important to differentiate them. The tricky part is figuring out the difference between these differences.  And now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to my shed.

6 thoughts on “Man, I Feel Like A Man

  1. This. I am 100% with you on this. The only basis for gender difference I care about at all is what God says in Scripture. And as you say, it’s not what we might think. Big groups of women scare me too. I’d rather be eating bacon rolls and listening to a fighter pilot than having my nails manicured. But I know also that God made me a woman, so that is part of His plan for me. So I want to know what HE thinks about that, and hoonannies to the rest of it.

  2. But it is so much easier treating people like stereotypes than getting to know people as people…

  3. I always wonder where they find the unharmed people to get the patterns from.

    I hate this stuff because I’m always a creepy mix of both, very depressing. But, Chris feels the same way, so between the two of us we might make a whole married couple one day.

    Actually, if I had to pick one or the other, I think Jesus sounds a lot more “woman” out of your pink box and not much blue at all.

    In fact, the blue box seems much more “addict” than male, and the un-Jesus bits of the pink box reek of co-dependence and complex PTSD.

    As a culture darkens and moves away from God, both gender descriptions get further and further away from being Christlike. Masculine attributes used to be more defined by virtues than vices and nurturing females are now mocked from every corner of our media driven culture.

    It seems nobody wants to be like Jesus.

  4. “Man, I Feel Like A Man”…….

    Oh yes, Emma, I know this feeling too. And I luv it! ☺
    Indeed, with God I feel like I am standing with an army, even though this world has lost its everlasting glory…

    If you feel like a man, you may be “the man”, even though you’re a woman. For clarification (in order to not post more than one link which most blogs don’t accept) I copy and paste something I recently wrote on John Thomson’s article “Ear Piercing And Bondslaves” ( as to that issue.


    […] in fact, the New Covenant and the Old Covenant had and still have a ministry for women besides being one with their husband. Thinking especially of Miriam, the sister of Aaron, and the four daughters of Philip (Acts 21:9) – all these were called to be prophetesses of the Lord. One might argue, “Wait a moment…..were they married?”
    However, In the NC we hear Paul say,

    “This is what I mean, brothers: the appointed time has grown very short. From now on, let those who have wives live as though they had none.” (1 Cor 7:29)

    “There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is no male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus. And if you are Christ’s, then you are Abraham’s offspring, heirs according to promise.” (Gal 3:28-29)

    Abraham’s offspring are all sons in the One, the Son of God, regardless of gender. Although one may never forget that women are not to rule over their husbands – they ought to submit to them as they do to their Lord because the Lord speaks through their husbands. This fact I do confirm. Particularly in times of insecurity as to hearing the Lord’s voice or others’ (mostly Satan’s), Jesus used my hubby to tell me what to do. And Paul – my husband – was always right when he corrected me in his kind manner. Also, it is good for husbands to listen to their wives’ voices through whom God’s helping advice can be heard. The “female side” of God brings along deep understanding, tenderness, comfort, and respecting others just the way they are – not the way men often think they “ought to be”.


    However, not only this world has lost its glory. Ha! Also, the sermons many a congregation has been forced to deal with. Preachers today who are devoid of Christ’s Spirit cannot help but offering more or less lame and shallow sermons filled with mere human wisdom. This is not what God likes. Actually, He hates it! Therefore, He recently urged me to write a “manly” poem and to post it on Tullian Tchividjian’s blog. If you’re interested, you could check out the following link.

    God bless you, Emma and Glen!


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