Slow Grace

slow graceIn yesterday’s post I wrote about how God works in the small things as well as the big – especially when it comes to recovery. Today a friend emailed me with a beautiful illustration of this process.  I’m grateful to her for allowing me to share some of this with you:

“Just over two years ago I was admitted to The Priory with anorexia. I was in danger of sudden death… I felt also that a Christian should be immune from mental health problems.

I did not realise then that recovery would take over two years and even now, whilst I am nearly there, I’m working on weight restoration. What I do know is that God’s timing is not our timing. I have been frustrated, despairing and have many times questioned why healing hasn’t been instantaneous. I also questioned why I suffered in the first place…I do not have the answer to those questions, but I now look back and see that God has been working in my life during those two years. He is changing me, refining me and healing me. I am a work in progress. Something went wrong with the clay pot, so the potter used the clay to make another pot the way He wanted it to be, (Jeremiah 18:3). Sometimes that can’t happen overnight. It is a process.

God is a God who heals, who can turn any situation around. I now understand that healing may come in an instant, it may not happen until eternity or it may happen like a hospital healing antibiotic drip: drop by drop , little by little. God can do suddenly but He also can do slowly.

What I do know is that I am not the same person I was two years ago. I have been changed. I am so grateful to God who did not give up on me, who loves me in my mess and who forgives me for doubting His sovereignty. I am also grateful for all those who have stood with me, accepting me, encouraging me and showing me that Jesus loves, forgives, heals and restores.”

Both of us are controllers who find it hard to let go: and both of us had control taken out of our hands.

Both of us have made changes that were impossible in our own strength.  And for both of us those changes have been far deeper than we imagined.

Both of us are utterly dependent  on a Lord who carries the broken. But both of us are also called to make daily choices, in His strength.

We have a choice about whether we will listen to the lies of our old selves or the truth of the gospel.  We have a choice about whether or not we will ask others for help. Most of all, we have a choice about whether we will accept His love and forgiveness, instead of doubting and rejecting it.

Forget about yesterday. Forget about where you thought you would be by now. These are choices that face us today. And these are the choices that matter.

3 thoughts on “Slow Grace

  1. Indeed, God works at different paces in different situations, and that can be so hard for us to accept… but he loves us, and he will heal us. In time.

    Thanks for sharing this. Keep posting! You (and your friend in this case) are an inspiration.

  2. I think that there are lots of things that God measures in different way to us. Whether it’s the time taken to heal, what a mental illness is, the value of any person with an illness. The best thing we can do if possible is to get in step with they way God sees things rather than the way we do

  3. Thanks Kit!

    Lesley – yes, I think we do subtract our value when we’re sick: praying to see ourselves and others as God does is a great antidote.

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