Glen did a great video on Valentine’s Day here and we’ve had fun chatting together about some of the myths we’ve heard or fallen for about love. Here’s a few..
- “Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”
Love means endlessly saying sorry — “70 times 7”. It’s easy to love someone when they’re agreeing with you and doing your laundry. Much harder when they challenge you, get in your space and don’t live up to your expectation. Love starts with sorry.
- “You’ll live happily ever after.”
Fairytales end with a wedding because they can’t help but point to the ultimate consummation — heaven and earth coming together (Rev. 21-22). But when it comes to earthly weddings, ‘I do’ is just the beginning. In Jesus a happy ending is guaranteed, but not yet. So buckle in, because we’re fallen people in a fallen world. But there’s grace for you both!
- “True love is love at first sight.”
Love is more than hormones and a relationship based on chemistry quickly fizzles out. Follow your heart, we’re told, but our hearts are not reliable guides. In fact they can blind us to what matters most. “Slow burn” isn’t as sexy as instant attraction, but it’s built on solid foundations and lasts a lot longer.
- “Another person will complete me.”
Your partner can help you. They can love you. They can comfort you. (They can also bring out your worst and enable all kinds of co-dependent behaviours.) But complete you? No. Only one person completes you — the one who dies to make you His. He’s the Lover of your soul. Are you holding out for someone who really sees you, without masks and without make-up? Look to Him. Dreaming of someone who will love you, unconditionally and without reservation? He already has. If you put the weight of Messianic expectation on your spouse they’ll be crushed. Give it to Him and you’ll have a security from which to truly bless your spouse.
- “A fling will reignite my fire.”
Make no mistake, that ‘harmless fling’ is deadly poison pretending to be nourishment. It promises to give but it will take everything, if you let it.
- “I’m missing out.”
In the movies, marriage is considered suffocating and stale, whilst the ’40 Year Old Virgin’ is a figure of fun. The Bible says something very different. Jesus, the most perfect and fulfilled human being who ever lived, was single. He commends singleness as best and lifelong, exclusive matrimony as the only other alternative. If we let myths shape our hearts and minds we will always feel like we’re missing out. But right now, whatever our situation, we have God as our Father, the Son as our bridegroom, and the Holy Spirit as our constant companion and helper. The grass is not greener elsewhere. But with Jesus’ help, I can bloom where I’m planted.