Bad Babysitter

heart3Today I planned to write something Epic.  I’ve got this Stunning post on like, identity and monkeys and culture and Christianity – and science and robots and cheese. It’s life-changing and funny, but also witty and wise. There’s just one problem: I lost it. My cat ate it.I sold it and am now jetting to the Canaries with the proceeds.

My brain is not co-operating.  It’s skipped out the window and is mooning me from a safe distance. Worse still, it’s left my heart in charge. You know, the old one. The one that thinks it’s the life and soul of the party. Truth is, it’s a Bad Babysitter.  It’s a.) stupid; b.) impulsive and c.) a compulsive liar.  It rocks up with a six pack, farts and says stuff like: ‘Hey there Loser, having a bad day? Well let me tell it to you straight, the reason you feel terrible is because everything IS terrible it’s like grey and sad andlifeismeaninglessand more to the point you have Bad Hair and You Can’t Even Write a Stupid Blog Post which is the absolute baseline of acceptability. What are you even FOR you pathetic sack of humanity? Everyone else you know is raising triplets/saving whales/skyping Obama/inventing Post Its.  Now get out of my sight and go eat some biscuits’.

So, how do I respond?

-I’m not so bad?

– if I try really hard maybe I can write a post/change my shampoo

– lose myself in Breaking Bad and Pick n’ Mix




How about I eyeball the old heart. And instead of fighting him, I start by agreeing.

“You’re right mate, but not half as right as you should be. I’m not just having a bad hair day/inarticulate… my throat’s a mass grave, my tongue’s a murderous liar, and, left to their own devices, my toes will carry me straight to Hades. Plus, you – me old heart – are an open sewer straight from the pit of Hell…

BUT… NOW… a righteousness from God has been revealed and it’s got nothing to do with my throat, my tongue, my lips, my words or my hair. It’s got nothing to do with my successes and nothing to do with my failures. God’s righteousness is Jesus. And He’s been given to me for free.  You bet I fall short – short of your standards, short of the world’s standards and way short of God’s standards. But so what?  I am justified freely by God’s kindness through the cross of Jesus. (Romans 3:13-26)

So jog on, old heart.  My words might be lacking, but God’s word is enough.



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