My mum is one of the most servant-hearted people I’ve ever met (and cheerful with it). But like many of us, she’s terrified of being a burden on others.
”When the time comes’, she insists, ‘just pull the plug: I don’t want you wasting your life looking after me.’
Dying and being ill are scary prospects. No-one wants to have their bum wiped or to be fed or clothed. We want to be healthy and strong; remembered at our best…not as flickering shadows of our former selves.
But it’s not as simple as mum makes out. Because loving someone means carrying them – and letting them carry you too. At times this is unimaginably painful. But it really matters. Who you are is who I am: when you hurt, I hurt too. We’re not self-determining, self-sufficient masters of our destinies, who engage with each other only as long as it’s comfortable.
You and I have needs. We take up space. We have weight. And we need each other. You are a burden gladly borne and I hope I’m the same to you.
Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfil the law of Christ. (Galatians 6:2)
The whole way of Christ is about mutual dependence, not independence. When we let go of pride and embrace our needs we find that – far from relinquishing our dignity, we discover our true humanity.
YES.
Totally agree. So how can we remember this ourselves when we are older?
This did me good today. Thanks Emma.
Rich
Absolutely! I find it heartrending when I hear people say they don’t want to be a burden, because I need to be carried and they need to be carried – independence is unsurvivable!