Bear with me here. I don’t mean real prayer, to the God of the Bible. I mean my muddled view of it. In the quest for a baby, I have a number of strategies. Excluding the obvious, these include:
1. Reading lots of ‘how-to’ books
Not all ‘how-to’ books are crazy. But it’s amazing what
you’ll I’ll listen to when desperate. Things you wouldn’t even consider were it not for the fact that – they just might work. Did you know, for example that: ‘yams give you twins’, (they don’t put that on the wrapping). And quite aside from dangerous veg, there are 734 principles of conception You Must Follow Today.
When it comes to prayer, I do the same thing. Is my prayer authentic? Have I got the order right and does it contain the correct components? Forget the Bible, what do the experts say?
Thinking you can go it alone is a schoolgirl error. I’ve heard rumours that some folks have conceived without the aid of Goji Berries. In the same way I was taught at Sunday school that prayer is just talking to God and you don’t need any special equipment. Bonkers.
2. Praying in Jesus’ name
It’s a special mantra that guarantees you will get what you ask for. Babies, cars, blonde hair extensions.
Infertility is another name for Negativity. If you think yourself pregnant, it will happen. And in the same way, if you pray really really hard for what you want, with the right amount of faith God will do it, (especially if you make Him feel guilty).
4. Getting Other People Involved
Nothing is more helpful than getting everyone’s advice on how to fix a medical issue, then doing it all. Similarly, if you get loads of people to pray, (even if you don’t do it yourself), then the weight of group pressure will swing heaven’s vote in your favour. NB: It is worth reminding people that there is only ONE right answer here – and it is what You want. God’s will can be done in less important matters.
5. Just Relax.
If it’s gonna happen, it’ll happen. Prayer and pregnancy will spontaneously occur when you JUST CHILL OUT. An anxious womb is an empty womb: and God’s got enough on His plate without you moaning.
One of the things I teach the kids is the prayer teaspoon (TSP): Thank-you, Sorry, Please. I’ve grown out of this, of course. What with all the books and yam curries, I haven’t got time.
Listening to those prayers however, I’m a little jealous. Their God is a relaxed Father who loves to hear them talk. He doesn’t care about visualisation or rituals or conversational packaging. He’s the God of the Bible – and He’s my God too.
So perhaps I’ll stop trying and start talking. Remember Emma, keep it simple.