Every year my mum gets me a magazine subscription. I try and weed out the body fascists and celebrity dribble. This leaves me with Conde Nast Traveller, The People’s Friend, Angler’s Monthly or something featuring ‘Real Women’. The current edition has recipes (featuring ‘store-cupboard basics’ like pomegranate seeds, black molasses and quinoa), life-affirming stories, (usually someone starting a cupcake business), Royal Baby News, a craft section (always involves spray-painting leaves) and a pull-out, which this month is: 101 uses for bicarbonate of soda.
If I were designing my own magazine, I’d want:
no babies, royal or otherwise.
101 ways with mouldy cheese. (guaranteed store-cupboard basic).
Angry Cats
Why Baggy Pants Rock His World
Real-life cupcake disasters (with photos)
‘I’m Actually A Hologram’ by Angelina Jolie
Fashion Focus: Tracksuits
Less Sex Now! (Why Too Much Nooky Can Send You Blind)
True Life Story: I Was Expected To Come Second: And I Did
What have I missed?
10 Celebrity Diets that won’t work for you (because you can’t afford a personal trainer)
Famous Celebrity [Insert name here] doesn’t show you her house because it’s a cluttered mess
Eat Yourself Healthy (with chocolate and denial)
And what about a Darth Vader agony aunt page?
Try Hobby Farms. Although they probably won’t mention Jolie at all… unless she takes up Goat Breeding… which she very well might.
Don’t know if you’ve seen it, but Oh Comely might be more to your tastes… A friend started the magazine when she got fed up with usual women’s magazines.
I love Howard’s idea. Someone should start a blog – superhero baddies agony aunts. I’m game for writing a few if you guys are – who’s in!?
Aah lovely Darth.
I’ll subscribe to the Bad Aunt service: as a reader if not writer.
May also check out Oh Comely and Hobby Farms, (tho I’m sketchy on goats).
Tim: happy to believe that slebs have personal trainers, but messy homes? What about room service?
The joys of being a pessimist!?!