Ungrateful Owners

catPaws and I have been debating.  She says I think too much: but I can’t help it. I’m smart: always have been.  But this time the Hairless One’s gone too far. Poking his nose in my business. Changing things when they’re just how I like.

8am He feeds us. Then again at 6. Thick and meaty – with a nice jelly jus. We used to have great times knocking the bowl over, but He changed it and now we can’t.  Same with the door.  In the good old days we’d howl and he’d hold it open – now we’ve got our own flap and we have to push it ourselves. Like I say: thinks He’s God just because He owns the place. Acts nicey-nicey: but can’t be trusted.

Last week for example.  I got in a fight. They don’t call me Killer McPaw for nothing. (Actually they call me Fluffy, but it’s for protection).  Anyway.  Bloodied ear and a lump off my coat: came home feeling knackered. All I asked for was a stroke and some Kibbles. May as well have mewed at the ceiling.  I’ve spent all day working in Your garden, says I.  The least you can do is feed me. But no: that wasn’t enough. Soon as I’d eaten, He scooped me up. Then, He put me in the cage and took me to the Bad Man.  No, I shouted.  Leave it alone! But instead of helping –  He held me down.  That’s not the action of a loving Power. It’s a despot.  And it got worse. The Bad Man stuck a pin in me, rubbed something on the sore bit and taped it all up.  How was I meant to scratch it? Or check I was still bleeding? I specifically asked Him to leave it alone – but as usual, all He did was interfere and hurt me.

Seems to me life’s better without the Hairless One.  I keep this garden together and He’s not even grateful.

3 thoughts on “Ungrateful Owners

  1. Timely (as always), thanks.

    Have just been asked what I think recovery means and why I’m choosing to do it and almost got stuck in my usual trap of ‘because I should/God demands it of me’ but this is a huge help – a reminder of why he wants it for me – abundant life of love and service under his care and provision not using my freedom to indulge the sinful nature.

    However, I’d still like to know: what is recovery? Apparently it doesn’t mean what I thought it did and involves a lot more boring and practical self-care stuff than I’d really like it to. Ideas gratefully received…

  2. I finally managed to start thinking about an answer to this question without getting crazy upset. I expect there’s more to it than this, but here are my thoughts so far.

    1. Not being afraid of being a healthy size
    2. Not avoiding intimacy
    3. Willingness to engage in self-care
    4. Tolerating my body
    5. Finding my identity and worth in Christ not in my size/control/image
    6. Admitting my needs (physical and emotional)
    7. Not avoiding food groups
    8. Not restricting my intake
    9. Not fearing being weighed
    10. Being able to ‘ride the wave’ of emotions

    1. Never worrying about food/weight again
    2. Loving my body all the time
    3. Being so spontaneous that I do not meet my nutritional/emotional/physical needs
    4. Never experiencing pain or strong emotions

    There are parts of this answer I don’t really like. These are mostly things I’ve got wrong before that les to relapse and that make it easier to deny Ed than confront it – specifically for me nos 3, 5, 6 and 10 from the first list.

    Trying not to get too discouraged by how boring and practical recovery is and by how limited its results seem (e.g. the “is not” list) but it’s hard to do that just now.

    Thanks for your comment and support. xx

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