You know it’s ok to battle with some things: odd fibs or slip ups. Not praying enough for missionaries. Watching Something You Shouldn’t – provided you never do it again.
But what if you do? Is there is a limit to God’s grace? A point at which He says, ‘Sorry, but I’m done. Deal with your addiction. Tear out your pride. Stamp out this idol. Move on – and come back when you’re done’.
You try. There are little victories. But you keep falling back. This is not the victorious Christian life. Which makes you wonder – is it the Christian life at all? The ongoing sin. The lack of transformation. The same battles; over and over.
It’s me again Jesus. I just can’t manage. I say I’m getting better; but I fear I’m getting worse. And I have a couple of questions.
What if having faith doesn’t make life easy? What if it makes it harder. Is that allowed? Is that the way it’s supposed to be?
And what about the ongoing struggles? Faithlessness. Self-pity. Anger. Depression. Despair. We’re all allowed wobbles – from from time to time. But this often? Weekly? Daily? What if your faith is leaky? If you go to bed saying ‘God is good’. Then wake up asking, ‘Is He? Is He still?’
What if you need constant reminding? Every day. Sometimes more. God’s word, His people, Himself.
What if you keep making mistakes? If you don’t always feel it? What if you can’t see what God’s doing? Or if you’re not improving? What if, no matter how hard you try, you’re just not good enough?
and what if, that’s the whole point?
You can’t do it yourself.
You’re at the end of your resources – so you go to the hope that’s outside you.
You’re not getting better – but He’s good for you both.
Yes, God helps us and yes He changes us. Yes, we mature and we grow in our faith. But ‘self-improvement’ is not the gospel.
Here’s the thing: if you’re not broken, you don’t need a Saviour. But if you are – then He’s really good news.
“Merciful God, preserve me from a Christian Church in which everyone is a saint! I want to be and remain in the church and little flock of the fainthearted, the feeble, and the ailing, who feel and recognize the wretchedness of their sins, who sigh and cry to God incessantly for comfort and help, who believe in the forgiveness of sin.”