Myth and Reality

The myth of depression:

I’m not sick, just lazy.  I am weak and sad and pathetic. This is all my fault. People would be better off without me.  I’m a burden and a waste of space.  I don’t feel like God’s there – so either He isn’t, or He doesn’t want me. I’m a terrible Christian and a terrible person. Nothing will ever change. No-one understands.

The reality of depression:

I have a sickness called depression. I feel weak and sad and pathetic – but that’s not who I am.  This is not my fault. I am valuable and loved, even though I’m struggling.  It’s really okay to be weak. My faith is not about how I feel – the Bible tells me that not only is God real, but He loves me and has promised never to leave me. I will not feel like this forever. Many people feel the way I do – and have come through it. I am not alone.

The myth of singleness:

I’m a washed-up spinster/past-it bachelor. My best years are behind me.  Everyone feels sorry for me. But no-one wants me because I’m (delete as appropriate) too fat/too thin/too old/too needy/too odd. If I don’t have a partner, I’m nothing.  It’s better to settle for anyone than someone I actually want. I can’t be happy if I don’t get married. There’s someone out there for me and without them I’m incomplete. I’m not as worthwhile on my own as I am with someone else.

The reality of singleness:

Sometimes it’s really hard to be alone.  I’d love to have a romantic interest; and there are times when I feel sad that I don’t have this. But I’m not on my own. I have friends and a family of believers who love and care about me.  I have a God who promises to work all things for my good and who makes me a blessing to the people who know me.  I don’t know what the future holds, but I can trust Him for today.

The myth of motherhood:

For the first time in my life I feel emotionally fulfilled and completely at peace.  The birth was the most rewarding and beautiful experience of my life: I’m so glad I planned for it.  Yes – my body just sprang back into shape! I’ve been a mother for several weeks now and (delete as appropriate) breast/bottle/on-demand/planned feeding is the only way to bond. My child and I have an unspoken, spiritual connection and understanding.  I just know what he needs – and – when he’s not feeding/sleeping contentedly through the night, we’re chuckling together in my spotless kitchen. There’s a right way to do motherhood and it’s just come naturally.

The reality of motherhood:

The birth was ok/a nightmare/not what I planned. I have no idea what I’m doing.  I am a milk machine that often breaks. My child WILL NOT SLEEP. This is not what it looks like on TV.  I love this little bean more than anything else in the world but at 3am after a week of NO SLEEP I’m questioning my sanity.But –  We’re doing it.  We make mistakes but that is okay. There’s not a right way to do anything – but we’re learning and we’re doing our best.  Housework can wait.

The myth of faith:

I became a Christian when I was X and Everything Changed.  God spoke to me in a very powerful and public way and from that moment, I just knew I was Completely Different.  All of my old struggles fell away and I was able to pray and read the Bible as if I’d always been doing it.  I am Permanently Happy. My family and friends were so impressed they all became Christians.  My church is Perfect in Every Way.  I never have any doubts and I just Know that I’m growing in faith and grace.

The reality of faith:

I’m not sure when I became a Christian/I became a Christian when I was X and Everything Changed/some things changed/I’ve always been a believer. I still have struggles but He is helping me to change, step by step – though it’s hard work and often frustrating! I’m learning to read the Bible and pray, but it’s not always easy and there are times when I feel like giving up. In fact, some bits of my life are much harder since I became a believer! Some of my friends think I’m weird and even my family don’t get it. I love my church, but it’s full of sinners like me – so we need to work at loving each other and we don’t always agree.  Sometimes I wonder if I’m really a Christian – but I can take even my doubts to the Lord.  I trust that He is making me more like Him, even though I don’t always feel it.

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