(Some) Things That Have Shaped Me

being an eldest child


the books of Roald Dahl

getting bullied

going on a diet

my daughter

the lies of perfectionism

pornography (and the boyfriend who read it)

thinking that Christianity was about morals – then experiencing grace

giving up on ‘having it all’


discovering I was in love with my best friend

my grandmother’s death

not being able to get pregnant

going to a girl’s school

fear of rejection

growing up in Northern Ireland – and then leaving it

my first Sunday school teacher

other women’s bodies

friends who lost a baby – and testified to the Lord and His goodness in the midst of their grief

meeting the Jesus of Revelation 5




11 thoughts on “(Some) Things That Have Shaped Me

  1. a good-looking youth worker who attracted me to church

    a curate who taught me what the Bible was about

    a friend and my vicar who recognised a gift

    a youth group who we loved

    friends whose parents had educated them at home

    a man i lost

    my mum who taught me to knit after I lost him

    Colombia and its people I loved

    a dating website

    2 precious children, miracles of science and the generosity of God

    A God who spoke into my helplessness…

    I’m in tears now thinking how the Lord has worked in my life, through the highs and the pit Thank you!

  2. Whoah this is personal :)

    * my friend drowning when I was 20
    * my Granddad dying when I was 11
    * struggling with confidence – I used to have a weird speech defect thing – like a lisp but not
    * mental illness
    * all the people I have loved really deeply – my friends and family
    * living in a foreign country and trying to speak their language for two years
    * being the youngest child
    * being from the North
    * many many books and stories
    * songs – hymns big time – songs and storylines in classical/film music (Not in the sense of plot, in the sense of resolution)
    * my parents
    * being a Christian from a young age
    * having a massive hunger for affection/approval most of my life
    * my friends who are from very different cultures/backgrounds to me – and seeing how the gospel is deeply true for both of us.

  3. * going to 4 schools in 4 years
    * the first time I heard about grace 2 years ago
    *seeing the love of my life get married to someone else
    *praising Him regardless of my situation
    *boarding school
    *discovering and keeping the secret of my dad’s porn addiction
    *knowing I’m loved beyond all comprehension
    *anxiety & self harm
    *psalm 42
    *finally finding my identity…in Christ!

  4. Thanks for the great post! It really got me thinking and I blogged about it over at agratefullifelived.blogspot.com. I linked up to your site as well. It is so important to remember all the things that have shaped us- whether they seemed good or bad. Thank you for such an excellent reminder of that.

  5. Thanks Lucy – your list reminds me of how God shapes the holes in our lives and works redemption, even through those things we have lost.

  6. * Being the eldest child
    * People’s high expectations
    * Quietness
    * Girlguiding
    * Being taught God’s love was based on being perfect
    * Self-harm since I was 13
    * Joining CU
    * Learning about grace
    * 2 suicide attempts in a month
    * Being a people pleaser
    * Rebelling against ‘rules’ by falling for a non-christian
    * Studying literature.

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