First Things First

sirenThis morning was our women’s bible study group.

I woke up with a stinking headache and a fractious baby.

It was pouring with rain, Ruby was screaming, the house was a tip and my phone was flashing reminders for a deadline I’m struggling to meet.

I felt like climbing back into bed and pulling the curtains.  I felt like I should chip the spilt Weetabix off the floor and get the house into order.  I felt like I needed to work whilst Ruby slept.

I felt like doing anything – except heading to church.

But this verse wouldn’t let me: “But seek His kingdom and His righteousness first and all these things will be given to you as well.”

I ignored it.  I shouted at it.  I pleaded for it to go away. But it sat, looking at me with big Bible eyes.  So I gave up and went.


I couldn’t tell you 95% of what we studied.  (Ruby cried throughout).

I got soaking wet.

The house is still a tip and the Weetabix has been joined by some mashed potato.

My deadline’s are still looming.

These things have not yet been given to me as well…



I was reminded of what’s real:

that “I” is really “we.”  That life is messier than my kitchen. That I need soul refreshment as well as physical rest. That the world is bigger than my living room and my priorities. That coffee is an essential part of modern life. That my daughter needs me to love Jesus in order to love her. That I have a family of sisters, cheering me on.

Over spilled milk and screaming children, we wrestled with life. And yes, 95% passed me by.

But 5% reminded me that Jesus is in our trials and He’s holding us tight. That’s enough for all the rest.


Matthew 6:33: But seek His kingdom and His righteousness first, and these things will be given to you as well.










8 thoughts on “First Things First

  1. Dear Emma

    I’m writing from a unit in which i find myself refeeding and trying to take steps towards the much hailed ‘recovery’ from Anorexia.

    Your post reminds me that it’s not just ‘I’….that somewhere and somehow there is a ‘we’. 95% of your post was so far removed from my current reality. 5% was spmething that I related to. And just like you said, that 5% is everything.

    Thanks so much.


    PS I love those ‘big bible eyes’! Never heard that before but will always recall it when I get that persistent nagging!

  2. Great timing, as always… I missed mums’ Bible study last week as I wasn’t feeling up to it; I’m still not, to be honest, but you’ve made me realise that I need to be there this morning, if only for that five per cent.

  3. Made me smile. Saturday night before church, already had the night before church argument with my husband. Also well into the internal battle about whether I am the problem, or whether church is the problem and found out that it’s the dreaded all age service and there is a lunch afterwards(complete no no for me). My problem is that the kids love church and I love the kids loving church even if I don’t. So I will go and God will do his bit and break me and minister to me and I will sing his praises, until about Tuesday when the fears and doubts and the determination to shut all love out will take over again.
    What strange beasts we are, and how patient and loving a God we have..

  4. Oh Emma, I can identify with so much of this, (not least the night before church argument!) Thank you for sharing.

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