Ever feel like second-best? Endlessly compared to others and always found wanting. Not pretty enough, not smart enough, not funny enough. Not ever enough.
Genesis 29: Leah knew this heartache. She lived in the shadow of her sister’s beauty; and her husband rejected her. But God heard her cries. He blessed her with children, and she held onto Him as her hope.
Ever feel like you can’t contain your pain? Your bones and your heart heavy with the weight of it. Each day the same; without help and without hope.
Mark 5: Isolated, ashamed, unclean, a sick woman stretches her hands out to Jesus. And in the roar of the crowd, he hears her. She’s been bleeding for 12 years now. Been to every doctor. Spent all she has and gotten worse. But this doctor has compassion upon her. “Daughter” he says. He takes away her sickness; and by calling her out, he takes away her shame. He restores her health and he restores her place in the community that cast her out.
Ever feel like you’ve a hunger that nothing can satisfy? Drunk deep at every well, but thirsty still? Emptied your accounts to fill yourself up? Spent—all spent—but desperate for more?
John 4: Her first wedding was full of happiness and hope. The second was quieter but he’s the real thing. Third marriage and this time will be different. Number four: no guests and a borrowed dress. The fifth wedding will be the last. Now he’s left too. Five names she’s had. And now none. Drawing water for her thirst, the woman no-one knows and no-one loves. Except Jesus. He sees her. And he gives her himself.
Whatever you’re facing this day, this week, God sees. He hears. And he saves.
You are not alone.
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Thank you Emma – I was always compared to my twin sister as we were growing up – even relatives used to draw comparisons which I hated as a child (even though we were different) – but God accepted me as Me…now living in the UK and not in the same country as my twin – I became myself & lived my own life as an individual in my own right. Thank you Lord.
I concur with Beth! Haha I’m a twin too (the less cool one, ?) and as I just mentioned in therapy (erm today actually haha) — it’s like, I feel like my whole life was spent playing catch up to my more capable twin.
Like I’d tell myself its okay that I didn’t score as well for the primary school exams (um equivalent to 11plus in the UK), *if* I aced my O levels — & caught up being smart/good enough.
Didnt do well for O levels (relative to twin! I now realise that there are people who don’t even qualify for O levels, for example ????), told myself it was ok *if* I did well for A levels and got myself to public uni (erm didn’t happen either)
etc etc – I think what started as external comparison has now slowly and surely seeped into personal self-comparison, and it’s definitely very hard to shake (cognitively I know I shouldn’t but emotionally it’s so hard!) I even said, so what if I can do all these things (like, crochet/run a 10k/I’m planning to do a half marathon in the next couple of years) .. cos she did them earlier already anyway. Kindaaa
… so the not-enough-ness is so, so real. It’ll take some time for this to shake, but in the meanwhile, thankful for objective reminders & perspectives, including this article! hugs x
Interesting comment Dee – I was the twin who went on to have 3 children successfully – whereas my twin (sadly) was unable to conceive and was very affected emotionally & physically by that. I gave my first child her name (her 2nd name) so that she could share my joy with me. Even my marriage has been more secure and stable whereas my twin is divorced but now happily married to a Vicar (no less) so you never know what life throws at you – but God is Faithful and He loves and cares for us all no matter what our situations .Beth
Thanks Beth and Dee. Thankful to God for you both and your uniqueness!