A New Name

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  1. Jill
    Oct 25 - 10:37 pm

    Easier said than done though, right?
    You’re a wee gem, Emma Scrivener. Thankyou. X

  2. Jeannine
    Oct 26 - 9:23 am

    wot Jill sed
    thanks Emma, spot on

  3. greygoggler
    Oct 26 - 11:45 am

    I sometimes forget that I am truly forgiven for the past and my eating disorder by Jesus. I also find its easier to bear grudges than to really really forgive.

  4. Kondwani
    Oct 26 - 8:22 pm

    Do you think you ever escape from it, this side of heaven? Or is it a battle you will face every day, or on and off, for the rest of your life?

  5. emma
    Oct 27 - 6:25 pm

    Jill and Jeannine: yes, it is much, much easier said than done. And some days I feel it more than others. But just as I’ve spent years telling myself lies, if replace these with truths, then by God’s grace they’ll hopefully start to sink in. And I love that the Bible speaks to me as I truly am: the princess who forgets she’s no longer a pauper.

  6. emma
    Oct 27 - 6:29 pm

    Greygoggler, yes – the legacy of an eating disorder is so much guilt and shame. And in my experience, the guiltier I feel, the more I’ll hold grudges against others too. But if Jesus can forgive me – then maybe I can also forgive others. Both however, are the work of His Spirit – not me trying to work harder.

  7. emma
    Oct 27 - 6:37 pm

    Kondwani, that’s a great question: what has been your experience?

    This side of heaven, I don’t think I’ll know complete freedom.However, whilst I am still fighting battles – it’s in the context of a war that has already been won – and this makes all the difference.

  8. Kondwani
    Oct 27 - 8:57 pm

    Dear Emma,

    There are times when I think I am getting there, but some of the mental battles persist, and I don’t know that I could ever know complete freedom. Having had children, I value my body and what it has been able to achieve, and have seen the need to be reasonably nourished in order to carry the pregnancy, breastfeed and chase around after energetic young boys. Having also had a child die, I feel that something ‘self inflicted’ is just such a waste of time, such a waste of a life, when other people don’t get that ‘choice’. i use inverted commas, because as you know, it is not quite so simple as that, but often it does feel like being stuck in a bad way of thinking or unhelpful choices.

    I long for freedom and wholeness, but I don’t know if it is possible here. Of course God can do great miracles, and I don’t want to limit Him by my lack of faith. Sometimes I think He teaches more through daily submission, daily trust, daily requirement to lean on His strength, than He might through a flash of light and a ‘miraculous’ healing.

    Your blog makes me think you understand much of this, and it encourages me.

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  10. Emma
    Oct 28 - 9:15 pm


    Thank-you so much for what you’ve shared.I can’t begin to imagine how you’ve felt or gotten through such painful experiences; but your faith and wisdom is a inspiration.

    I’m struck too by what you’ve said about God speaking more in the daily struggles, than the flashes of light. It’s not comfortable and it’s not what I expect or want, but you’re right, it’s often how He ministers to us most deeply.

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