I feel fragile even though I’m stronger than I imagine.
I get scared by change and challenge.
I am afraid of being ‘a burden’ – being human and having needs.
I dread letting others down. I want people to approve of me. In fact sometimes I make that my deepest goal, and it tears me apart.
I want to be perfect and to do all things ‘right’.
I’d rather be comfortable than brave.
I find it hard to set appropriate boundaries in relationships.
I’m frightened to try.
I don’t want to be in control of my own life.
The person I look like isn’t really me.
what are yours?
your posts have been very poignant
almost exactly the same as yours yet unlike you I’m not brave enough to share them. thanks so much for your honesty.
I am scared to be alone.
I am scared to be with people.
I don’t like being dependent on others.
Sometimes I wish I wasn’t as strong.
I would like to have a plan which tells me exactly what to do.
I hate decisions.
I wonder who I am.
I’m afraid of failing, afraid to trust – even God – because I know I will get it wrong again and fall out of step
I’m afraid that the other people have got it right in their relationship with Jesus and that I am missing out on some big secret of how to do the Christian life “properly”
I get scared when I think about persecution and wonder how I would handle that.
Deep inside me I know that none of these things matter because my God is bigger
I’m scared of clinging to hope, I’d rather wallow in hopelessness.
I want people’s attention, I want to be noticed.
I’m scared of my deeper anxieties being glossed over by external recovery.
I fear that I’ll never really be who I am to myself and others.
Can’t
I can’t fix it up
I can’t let it go
I can’t move on
I can never go back
I can’t figure it out
I can’t brush it off
I can’t forget
I can’t bear to remember
I’m frightened that I will have to live with disorder for the rest of my life, like my mother
I’m scared that God isn’t real and if he is I won’t be able to truly understand his grace
I’m afraid of letting my husband and children down
Missed out a word, should have put ‘this disorder’
I’m afraid that God will only ever teach me through pain.
Wow! Nail on head. It’s good i’m not alone in my thinking.
Emma! Exactly the same! I would add–
I think I don’t deserve happiness or anything good. I think I’m a bad person.
I don’t feel like I measure up. I don’t feel like I’m enough.
Rather be needed than needy. (you said this one too)
I dont know how to get rid of this feelings.
I work and work and work and try harder… that has been my strategy.
I always feel like it must be my fault and that even if it isn’t it’s still my responsibility to fix it.
I feel like everyone else ought to come first and that addressing my own needs, however genuine, is selfishness.
I know I let God down constantly and I’m afraid of letting anyone else down too.
I’m scared of not doing this properly again. To borrow an analogy from Emma’s book, how can I know whether my home improvements are paint jobs or complete renovations? I thought I was better, but 4 years later find myself in relapse… I want to do it properly this time but I’m scared I’ll just comply until there’s nothing left of Me.