The Real Thing

real thingSometimes I wonder if I’m really a Christian.  I don’t always feel like one –  and I’m not sure I look like one either.

Do real Christians feel the way I sometimes do? Scared and confused and ashamed and – lost? Do they pray and wonder: is He listening? Does He care? Am I dialling the right number? Saying the right words? Am I doing the right things? Or even in the right place?

Sometimes I wonder – have other Christians got a relationship with Jesus that is better than mine? Solid and convincing and – proper. I don’t love Him – not like I want to.  I love the cosy bits of church.  I love nice psalms and rousing choruses. I love the Bible stories I learnt as a child.  But do I love Him? Is this pathetic, flickering, wobbling reaching out – faith?

I look at myself and I despair. But perhaps that’s the problem.

Because it’s not about me and what I do.  It’s about Him and what He has already done.

Am I a Christian?  Sometimes, everything in me says no. But in my weakness and my trembling and my doubt… I look to Jesus. And He says “Yes.”  More than this, Jesus is God’s “Yes”, come into the world for broken folks, exactly like me.

My Christianity is not up to me –  Thank God, it’s up to Him.  And He is enough.

4 thoughts on “The Real Thing

  1. I was listening to a song today – I forget its name – and there was a line to which I clung: “It’s grace alone which saves me – Christ’s blood that sets me free.” Yes – He is enough xxx

  2. Yes He is enough. It is His Life. He paid for it all and gave it you /us when we had no currency to pay for it. ANd we have no currency now of our own, just His Life substituted to us on the Cross. He has done it all for sure. Rest is now our portion. A deep sigh of relief. :)

  3. Someone said today to me, that it is great faith to just call out to God in times in which you can’t see or feel him at all.

    And God knows that. He is faithful, so much more than we are and he is very proud of you if you just cry out for help in dark times.

    It means you believe and trust deep in your heart. Being a Christians means to struggle. It’s not a simple lifestyle.

    That’s what helped me a lot today.

  4. Amen! So glad it’s not about how much faith I have…but it’s about what/who that faith is in – and HE is faithful, HE never lets go!

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