Head Pollution

noiseIt’s easier to tell the gospel to others, than tell it to yourself. Stuff you wouldn’t say aloud, let alone to your worst enemy – when you’re tired and struggling, it sneaks in the back door and, if you let it, will bed down and make itself at home in your brain.

Example. Why haven’t I got a baby?

– God is punishing me. For an eating disorder.  For lying and hiding and being rubbish and ruining relationships and not living like a Christian should. This is just what I deserve.

–   I’d be a bad mother.  This way I can’t damage someone else.

– I don’t want a baby enough. If I did, I’d have started earlier.

– I want a baby too much.  It’s an idol and I need to give  it up.

– I haven’t got enough faith.  If I only pray harder and believe more, things will change.

– I’m eating wrong/not doing the right dances/praying wrong/not taking the right supplements/sleeping in a bad position/breathing badly

– I need to learn some special lesson or repent harder or give this up to God


If someone said these things to a friend of mine, I’d go after them with a pitchfork. I’d say, ‘what kind of God do you follow? – cause he sure as eggs isn’t mine.’  Yet sometimes, I say the same words to myself.  Instead of fighting with truth, I lie down and invite the bad guys in.

Your lies won’t be the same as mine.  But whatever they are :

You gotta fight the intruder –  stick it in the throat with a fork and smash it over the head with the crockery.  Hit it with a broom and squirt washing liquid in its eyes.  Put your fingers in your ears and refuse to listen to its whispers.

Here’s a masterclass from Luther (Commentary on Galatians):

“Sir Devil,” we may say, “I am not afraid of you. I have a Friend whose name is Jesus Christ, in whom I believe. He has abolished the Law, condemned sin, vanquished death, and destroyed hell for me. He is bigger than you, Satan. He has licked you, and holds you down. You cannot hurt me.” This is the faith that overcomes the devil’.





11 thoughts on “Head Pollution

  1. Thanks Emma. This is soo me! “Its my fault I have autoimmune thyroid disease. My ED caused it” “I probably need this suffering in my life to keep me close to God” “God won;t heal me because being healed is an idol” “I deserve thyroid disease because my weight/body/health was an idol” etc etc etc!
    It’s so true that I would NEVER let a friend entertain these thoughts. Thanks for the reminder.x

  2. All I want to say is: Come here, darlin’ and have a big hug. Life’s tough but God is good, so very good and he will work a way through this with you.

  3. A lot of these thoughts sound familiar… I love the quote from Luther and here is a bit of one from Tozer which encourages me when I am feeling rubbish:
    “If the world’s foundations crumble we still have God, and in Him we have everything essential to our ransomed beings forever.”
    Something to fight the intruder with!

  4. FANTASTIC Luther quote! I was just trying to find similar words to bash my demons with this morning but now I shall memorise these because they’ve got it all covered :). x

  5. Right on Emma. If any of those statements contained an ounce of truth there is no way I would be the father of three amazing girls. Please continue to pray for all of us under the weight of the Devil’s lies.

  6. Emma, we’ve (hopefully) stood by friends in this position, and we know something of the pain involved. You know God has a plan, you know he is working through the messy situation around you. You know he is sovereign. Please remember he loves you so much too.

  7. Feel like I’m nearing the end of my ability (willingness?) to keep preaching to myself. Could use a little sermon from someone else right now :'(

  8. Thanks folks: for additional weaponry and empathy and prayers. They’re a big help.
    PWP – praying for strength and refreshment for you. xx

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