1. I want to avoid disappointment
2. If I put in the worry hours, the bad stuff won’t happen
3. I like to plan for all the awful possibilities
4. I’m not sure God has heard me
5. It’s too big/small for Him to deal with
6. Unlike the rest of me, my brain isn’t fallen. I can therefore think my way through
7. Glen doesn’t worry enough – I need to do it for both of us
8. Things are going badly
9. Things are going smoothly. Too smoothly…
10. I’m bored
11. I like solving problems. Even if they don’t yet exist.
12. Fear can be paralysing motivating?
13. I can’t bear uncertainty – whether good or bad
14. Everything is up to me
15. Everything is out of control
16. Little worries distract from bigger ones
17. If I get too happy, ‘Fortune’ will smite me
18. I watch the news and Everything is Threatening
19. I don’t want the consequences of making mistakes
20. I’m scared of being found out
Have I missed something? I have, haven’t I? …
Masochistic enjoyment?
A classic posting. Oh deary me. Could we add , also : everyone else is having an easy time, it is just me who is ‘zapped’. I might laugh but there would appear to be more reasons to be fearfully worried, than willingly happy.
“Worrying works – 99% of the things I worry about don’t happen!”
Not sure what you could add to “Everything’s up to me.” But, at least worry proves “I’m trying so hard!” Doesn’t it?
All of these have gone through my head in the past week in an attempt to justify my obsessive planning and list-making! Thank you xx
Masochistic enjoyment is definitely up there. As is trying hard and feeling uniquely ‘zapped’. Good to know I’m not alone – but what a challenge to keep giving it over to God. Been reading Matt 6 today and I’m very struck by the no of times Jesus says ‘don’t worry, About anything!’ Guess He’s got my number…
And there is another subtle variant of masochistic enjoyment and is (which dares not speak its name too loudly), namely, the enjoyment of the suffering/misfortune of others. Maybe this is commonplace and is called the smirk. In other words i don’t put this behaviour down to an ‘illness’ or otherwise, brain disorder.
“God helps those who help themselves … and doesn’t help those who don’t help themselves … am I doing enough to be deemed as helping myself?”