Raw God


I don’t want to settle

for the safe middle ground.

the easy affirmation

the brief blessed thought.

I don’t want a part-time faith

a boyfriend in the sky

a nice idea or

a soft warming glow.

I want

a raw God


sweat and bones and blood

with dirt under his nails and nails under his skin

I want a God like me – who feels and breathes and weeps and sings

But utterly different

A Lord – who calls and carries and commands.


I want Your Spirit to burn within me

Your word to seize and slay me

You, Lord. I want more of You.



5 thoughts on “Raw God

  1. I wish I felt like this. I think I wrote something similar a while ago. Now I wish I could have a part-time faith, be half-human, have half-feelings, and half-hope. It doesn’t make sense, I’m sure. But I feel like I can’t deal with this God anymore. Have you ever felt like that?

  2. Hi Yessica

    Yes. Read through the blog and you’ll see despair and doubt and wobbling and someone who is fearful and easily overwhelmed. So what you say does make sense. But I want more of the Jesus who is for the weak and the struggling; and I want Him to carry me instead of trying to carry myself.

  3. Hi Emma,

    Thanks for the reply. That was a silly question.
    I have mixed feelings about God at the moment. Don’t really know how to talk to him and I’m afraid of listening to him.
    Reading this post reminds me of times when I’ve wanted more of God; when his words were beautiful and I knew I was being looked after. Now I don’t know. I’m trying to find words that are suitable for a public online comment but it’s not happening, so I’ll leave it here.

  4. Yessica – if it would help to chat, you can email me direct through the contact bar (top of the page). Love to hear from you.

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