I’ve been praying for and thinking about you. I’m writing to encourage you to see yourself as Jesus does.
He loves you and He delights in you. He does not see you as a burden or a disappointment or even just a bit of a worry. When He looks at you it’s like a mum looking at her newborn baby: thrilled and excited and protective and rejoicing.
He mourns with you for the past. You’ve been hurt in terrible ways and He is angry about this and grieved. He will not forget and He will bring justice.
But. You are not the people who wounded you and betrayed your trust. He is greater than them. And His Spirit within you is more powerful than the lies you’ve been told in the past and are now telling yourself.
Dear friend, you are more than your body. But your body too is precious and it’s taken the brunt of your pain for too long. You can’t contain the sadness and neither can your bones. Only Jesus can.
Your mind too, is exhausted. It’s been trying to control the universe and every aspect of your existence – and the weight of it is crushing you. The government is on His shoulders, not yours. Please – it’s time to let go.
I know the lies because I’m tempted to listen to them too. But your brain has gotten into bad patterns and those patterns, though familiar, are hurting you and stopping you from being who you’re meant to be. It tells you that you can fix yourself. It tells you that you can’t trust other people. It tells you that the slavery you know is better than the hope you don’t. It says you are unacceptable; and if you let your mess out it will leak and spill and spread and you will never be clean and people will turn from you in disgust.
These are straight from the pit. They grieve the Lord and they grieve me too.
For too long you have listened and for too long they have shaped you. They are lies and they have no power over you.
The truth is:
You are beautiful and warm and loving and other-centered.
You have an enormous heart for others and an incredible capacity to bless.
No-one else is like you. No-one else can take your place.
I thank God for you.I thank God for our friendship – and I’m not alone.
Don’t despise yourself. Don’t despise what God has made beautiful.
I pray that you will see yourself as He sees you.
The courage and beauty that shines in brokenness. The place you fill, that no-one can take.
Take heart. The past is not wasted – but life starts now. I’m scared too. But He is leading us forward, to a spacious place.
I was at the youth conference you spoke at this week, and I was SO excited when your name was announced as the speaker- thank you so much for coming, thank you for having the courage to share with so many of us, it was utterly wonderful and as I was challenged, I was also thrilled to hear your words come to life!
As I come home today, full of tiredness and the remnants of excitement, but mainly regret at missed opportunities and the hurt of being in a huge tent where it can feel like I’m the only one who is so very messed up and who struggles so very much with the heart of Christianity, where my friends are leaping in worship and I’m panicking on the floor, I return to find you’ve blogged some things this week which speak directly to me, and I’m so very thankful that you take the time to share all of this.
It’s a blessing to me to have heard you speak, although I was a little too overwhelmed to take it all in, and it’s a blessing to come back and see posts about things I’ve struggled with so much this week- whether I’m really saved, what it is to be brave, and just some beautiful reminders of the things you talked about the other evening. In a time when I’m struggling so much, it’s just such a precious thing, so thank you.
Thank you Jess – that’s so kind. Coming back is always hard: but you’re not alone in being messy or panicking on the floor! Remember, He comes for messy folks like us and He takes us step by step: tonight and tomorrow and every day. Keep going sister and thank you for taking the time to encourage me – much appreciated :-)
xxxxx
Just what I needed today, thank you. X
Hello Emma,
I emailed you once upon a time earlier this year to tell you how much I appreciate the thoughts you present on your blog. And you responded with grace, just as I expected. Now here I am commenting for all the public to see. :) Just wanted to let you know/belatedly ask for you permission to include your blog in a “Blogs I Read” section of my blog. I want anyone who stumbles across my blog to know of yours as well (if they don’t already).
Thank you for continually writing such encouraging and thoughtful content.
J
Thanks so much J – yes, I’m honoured!