Doing Church When You’re Not Feeling It


  1. Be honest.  If you find social events difficult, say so. If large groups make you panic, share it.  Don’t just shut up and shut down. People can’t help or empathise if they don’t know how you’re feeling.
  2. Don’t cut out relationships because you sometimes find them tricky.  Yes, you like time by yourself.  But you’re human – so you need other people. Instead of spreading yourself thin with everyone, focus on going deep with a few folks you trust. If a whole room is too much, ask someone to come over and watch a dvd or go for a coffee.
  3. Serve in the ways that are you.  If you hate being upfront, plug in with the cleaning rota.  If you find kids easier than adults, help with Sunday school.  If you’re a terrible baker, buy something from M+S and hide the wrapping. Ask God to show you who you can bless and how you can do it in ways that fit you.
  4. Try one thing that’s scaring you – going to a service, a coffee morning, or a small group.  Pray about it beforehand and ask others to pray for you too. Remember that others find this stuff hard as well. Even if you speak to just one person (to say you take milk in your tea), that’s a success.  You did it; and you can be proud of this. Start small and keep going.
  5. Don’t beat yourself up for what you’re not.  And don’t compare yourself to others, (the worship leader or the dynamic evangelist).  God made us all different and He didn’t make a mistake with you.  He needs you to do something different to others; He has a purpose for you and He will use you if you let Him.
  6. If you’re the sort of person who always says ‘yes,’ then think about saying ‘no’ and allowing God to speak to you in rest and stillness.  If you’re the sort of person who always says ‘no,’ then try letting others in and saying ‘yes’ to one thing.  Whether you withdraw or hurl yourself forwards; what are you trying to achieve? What are you trying to protect yourself from?  And what is God calling you to right now?

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