I’m nervous.
There’s a big event approaching and I don’t feel up to it. I’ve prepped and I’ve packed. But as the minutes tick down, I pull out the big guns.
A slash of lipstick. A mask of foundation. Concealer to hide my weakness. A cloak of expensive perfume. Painted talons and whitened fangs.
Warpaint. And Now I’m ready.
What’s your armour? What helps you, when you know you’re not enough?
Perhaps it’s food. A wall between you and your feelings. Refuge in wrappers; refuge in your own skin. Your body as a wall that says, ‘don’t get close. Don’t try and touch.’
Or maybe it’s risk. The thrill of gambling. The excitement of an illicit relationship. Fear and pleasure and guilt, and all of it mixed. Everything to lose; because when you risk it, you feel like you’re living. Each time you go further – but it’s still not enough.
Maybe it’s what you wear. The pride that means you can’t be wrong. The anger that stops you feeling pain. The tattoos or scars that say, ‘don’t mess.’ The blush that whispers, ‘look away.’
Maybe you’re clothed in your surroundings. Shiny surfaces and rows of books. A beautiful garden and a Nespresso. Or maybe it’s your followers. Shoring up self-esteem with every ‘like’.
What’s your armour? What helps you, when you know you’re not enough?
When you’re faced with a broken world and a broken heart and a broken self?
When you’re bloodied and fighting against sin (Hebrews 12:4)?
When you’re wrestling with enemies you can see, and ‘powers’ that you can’t, (Ephesians 6:10-17)?
When you’re fighting as a soldier for the gospel (2 Tim 2:3-6)?
The Bible doesn’t say ‘lose your armour’, instead it says, ‘switch it.’ Switch your cut-out cardboard shield for pure gospel titanium. A breastplate, a belt, a sword, and a helmet; armour that won’t bend and a shield that won’t break. Tempted to take refuge in Sudoku or Candy Crush? Flee instead to the impenetrable Strong Tower.
A horse is a vain hope for deliverance. And so is a lipstick. But there’s one Lord who keeps us safe in the storm. And as we wake up and we know we’re not enough, we clothe ourselves in Him, (Romans 13:14).
So true. A great reminder, thanks Emma.
I often call my clothes my armour – the person I want to be that day. You’re so right though, it is not enough when compared to the titanium strength of the gospel.