Life Holes

black holeIs it possible to ‘lose’ something that was never yours? 

A husband, but you never got married.  A son, but you never had kids.  A happy childhood; that belonged to someone else.

You never had them, but you Know – they were meant to be be yours

And there’s a hole; a physical hole where they should be.

You look into that hole but you’re scared of falling in.

And you ask God, ‘WHY?’

Because ‘loss’  can become ‘lost’ if you let it.  If you sit on it and nurse it and hug it to you like a knife.

If you do this – the hole will swallow you. You’ll exchange what’s missing, for what’s already yours:


Not in the pram or the personals or the photo album. Not in the pay slip or the glass or the gym.


Even if everything seems like a mess.  Even though nothing makes sense.  Even in the small hours when it squeezes your ribs and you’re fighting for breath.


In the Father whose arms are wide open.

In the Brother who dies to protect you from harm.

In the Counsellor who comforts and asks for no fee.

In the creation that bears His name and is already yours.

A God who swallows the hole. And a Hope that cannot be shaken.

In His hands, nothing is lost.


‘I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ.’ Phil 3:8







6 thoughts on “Life Holes

  1. Thanks Emma, that’s a good verse to be pointed to as i continue a decade-long wrestle with a loss. Thank you for your words.x

  2. Beautifully written, Emma.

    You are right, nothing is lost in His hands. Even more, God will fill those life holes to overflowing with things known (but missed in this life) and with things unknown (but unknowingly missed). Sounds mysterious, doesn’t it. ;-)
    Paul in the Scripture you shared above, speaking “of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus”, pointed to God’s holistic spiritual love which encompasses our whole being (body, soul, and spirit), since

    God’s Love is deeper than parents could ever love their children
    God’s Love is deeper than children could ever love their mother and father
    God’s Love is more erotic than spouses could ever love each other (*)
    God’s Love is higher and further than imagination can reach

    “as it is written, ‘What no eye has seen, nor ear heard, nor the heart of man imagined, what God has prepared for those who love him’ (1 Cor 2:9 ESV)

    In Christ, we will not miss anything because we possess all things (creation) already now, as you rightly said, Emma.

    May the Lord give us all eyes to see, ears to hear, and spiritual senses to feel His overwhelming love for each of us. Amen.


    (*) Solomon’s Song of Songs describes Christ’s spiritual (holistic) love for His Bride and her love for Him explicitly.

  3. Yes – whatever we lose, we have gained Christ: and He can’t be taken from us, nor we from Him.

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