A New Name

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  1. J
    Oct 21 - 6:29 pm

    You know when your ears burn red and the back of your neck tingles because it feels like someone is talking (or writing) directly to/for you? That.

    Today has been (another) bad day. And I have spent most of this afternoon torturing myself: “You’re STILL not better. You’re disgusting, you idiot. Not even God will help you, you’re absolutely hopeless.” But you’re reminding me that just because I can’t see monumental improvements every day, accompanied with bunny rabbits and butterflies – that doesn’t mean that God isn’t at work in my life. Philippians 1:6 comes to mind, “and I am sure that He who began a good work in you will bring it to completion at the day of Jesus Christ.”

    I’m in dire need of support from my loved ones at the minute, but I’m too embarrassed and ashamed to admit my struggles to them. It’s especially difficult in Church for some reason. I can cope with admitting I ‘wasn’t well’ last week, but admitting that the struggle is ongoing today is impossible. I tell them nothing, put on an Oscar-worthy performance of joy and confidence, but break down behind closed doors. How do I change this? How do I become vulnerable when I’m the star performer in my own play?

  2. Emma
    Oct 21 - 7:47 pm

    Hi J,
    I’m sorry it’s been a hard day. You’re not hopeless and you can admit need without being a failure. Bunny rabbits and butterflies are for Disney princesses. You are a strong and courageous woman and I’m very blessed to be your friend. Praying for you.

  3. Kit Sune
    Oct 22 - 3:58 pm

    Thank you for sharing this – simple, honest truths about painful realities.

  4. S
    Oct 23 - 8:11 am

    Thank you for this post… I’m currently having a slow recovery from an operation, which although is a physical recovery process its hidden and looking at me you can’t tell I’m not well. Its been tough facing people at church who think you’re fine and reminding them you can’t do this or that still when they ask you to and also trying to balance what’s ok to do and what’s going to slow down recovery. So when you wrote of hidden mental illness it reminded me there are similarities with some physical illnesses that are hidden too so for people struggling with them they can hear your encouragement too. Thank you for reminding me God’s working in the baby steps.

  5. Emma
    Oct 24 - 2:52 pm

    Thanks S – such an important reminder: physical illness (and recovery) can be hidden too.

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